The Art of Starting Over

On Friday, Hayden parked in front of Sheriff Crow’s house, left his truck running, and jogged up the steps. He knocked twice on the wooden screen door and stepped back, giving Devorah space to open the door and step out. He heard her walking toward him. The house creaked from old age or, as people in New England would say, “wicked old age.” Hayden pulled the metal handle on the screen door and held it open. He smiled as soon as Devy came into view.

“Are you ready to shop?”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. He hated that he couldn’t fix her problems. Not that he could fix his own, but his were much more straightforward to deal with.

“I’m ready,” she said as she pulled the door shut behind her and tested the knob to make sure it was locked. He remembered a time when they didn’t lock doors or worry about being robbed. Those days were long gone. Even at the ranch in Wyoming, they locked the doors.

When they reached the truck, Hayden held the passenger-side door open for her, waited for her to get in, and then shut it. He jogged around to the driver’s side and hopped in, fastened his seat belt, and headed toward the school.

“How were the past couple of days?” he asked.

“They were okay,” she said. “I started looking for a job.”

“Oh yeah? Doing what?” Hayden turned at the corner and again a block later, then drove straight on until they arrived at the school. He got behind the last car and waited in the pickup line.

“I’m not sure,” she said, answering his question. “When it comes down to it, I don’t have a whole lot of experience doing much of anything except organizing. And it’s not like there are a ton of estate sales around here or I have the clientele to get a business off the ground. I can’t wait for someone to hire me.”

“I hear ya.”

“What about you?”

“Well, right now I’m living off life insurance and parents. I don’t know if I want to go back into law enforcement or go to law school like I’d originally planned. Until then, I have a camper on the land I bought that I’m supposed to be living in while my house is being built. But I have yet to stay in it. My mom likes having me in the house.”

“I wish Crow felt the same.”

“He does,” Hayden said. “He just has a hard time showing his soft side.”

Devy choked on a laugh. “There is nothing soft about Crow.”

“Has he always been this gruff?”

“No.” Devy sighed. “He changed after my mom died. She was the love of his life, and . . . I don’t know, I think he figured if he loved Colt and me like he loved her, he’d lose us too.”

“He’s a good dad, though?”

Devorah shrugged. “In comparison to who? Your dad?”

“Valid point.” Lee McKenna was everyone’s favorite. Being the longtime doctor in town, he knew everyone, and they knew him. It didn’t matter what time it was; Dr. McKenna would make a house call. “I’m not sure it’s fair to compare the two, though.”

“Maybe not.”

Hayden inched forward, even though the line hadn’t moved. He looked out the window at the parents who’d parked in the pickup lane and then got out of their cars to chat. He scanned the other cars and groaned when he saw Sapphire Fleming heading his way.

“Shit.”

“Is that—”

“Sapphire Fleming? Yep.”

Sapphire smiled when she got closer to the truck. She stopped at his window, leaving him no choice but to push the button to put the window down. “Hey, Hayden.”

“Sapphire.”

She put her hands on the truck and leaned against the door. “I didn’t know you were doing the carpool thing. I can put you on the list if you want.” Sapphire looked at Devorah and said nothing.

“Nah, I’m good. I think Conor will walk home most days, unless it’s raining.”

“Oh, I see. What about you, Deborah?” she asked, mispronouncing her name.

“Devorah,” Hayden corrected her.

“Oh, right. I must’ve forgotten.”

Devorah barely acknowledged Sapphire. Hayden suspected there was some history there. “No thanks.”noveldrama

“You sure?” Sapphire asked.

“Positive. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“So, listen,” Sapphire continued, attention solely fixated on Hayden. “I was wondering what you’re doing tomorrow night. How about dinner at my place? My ex will have my kids.”

“Oh, um.” Hayden ran his hand through his hair and tried to come up with a plausible excuse. “I’m not sure if my parents will be home to watch my son.”

“Well, I’m sure Devorah could do it. She’s not busy. Are you?” Sapphire tilted her head to the side in an attempt to get Devy to look at her.

“Nope, why would I be busy?” Devorah stated. “Conor can come over while you go on a date.”

Hayden met Devy’s eyes and saw defeat. Watching Conor was the last thing she wanted to do. Going shopping tonight was probably at the bottom of her to-do list as well. He turned back toward Sapphire, who had her phone out.

“I’ll let you know. It’s really up to Conor right now. He’s my priority.”

“Of course,” Sapphire said sweetly. She put her hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. “Give me your phone—I’ll put my number in.”

This was the oldest trick in the book, and he had no choice but to hand over his phone. He waited, tried to force a smile without making it look like a grimace, and cringed when she said, “I texted you back, so now you have my number.”

“Great, thanks.” He took his phone back and set it in the console next to him.

“The kids are coming,” Devy said as she got out of the truck. She walked toward Maren and Conor, and the whole time, Hayden didn’t take his eyes off her.

“See you tomorrow, Hayden,” Sapphire called as she walked back to her car.

“Wh-what? Oh yeah, okay,” he said as he got out to greet Conor on the sidewalk.

“Hey, bud. How was school?” Hayden took Conor’s backpack and then reached for Maren’s. He opened the back door and waited for the kids to get in before setting their bags on the floorboard and then shutting the door. He wanted to be a gentleman and shut Devy’s door as well, but she had beaten him to it.

He stood there for a moment, feeling disappointed. The emotion confused him. Yes, he’d been raised to open doors, but he was also aware that women were independent.

He had a niggling suspicion in the back of his mind that Chad didn’t open doors for Devorah, and if he had to guess, the only time he did anything gentlemanly was when people were watching.

Back behind the steering wheel, Hayden adjusted the rearview mirror so he could see Conor. “You good?”

“Yeah.”

“Maren?”

“Yeah, it was okay,” she said in a sad voice.

“Well, that doesn’t sound like a fantastic Friday. I guess we better make it better. Off to shopping we go.” Before he left the pickup line, he turned on some music: the Top 40–type tunes Conor liked to listen to. Hayden figured Maren would enjoy the same. By the time they were heading toward the interstate, both of them were singing, which was at least a start. Now all he needed to do was turn Devy’s frown upside, and things would be better.

Not perfect.

But better.

When Hayden had asked Devorah and Maren to come with Conor and him, it was because Hayden wanted to spend time with Devy. He liked her, and seeing her earlier in the week had only brought back those memories from junior high and high school. He didn’t live with many regrets, but Devy was one of them. All he’d had to do back then was be honest with her and himself, but he was afraid of what Colt would think.

And Crow. That man still scared the shit out of him.

Even after he left for college, he still called Devorah when he could and when he knew her father or Colt wouldn’t be home. He talked to her only a few times before he realized how homesick he was. Not because he missed his parents or Oyster Bay, but because he missed Devorah. He booked an unscheduled trip home to finally confess his feelings to her.

Hayden waited for Devorah after the homecoming game, only to find out his chance with her had sailed from the harbor.

Hayden knew the risks of going home without telling his parents, but he had one goal in mind—to tell Devorah he was in love with her. She was all he thought about. Day in and day out at school. He’d made a mistake in not telling her how he felt, and it was something he should’ve done the day she started high school. He was a good kid, raised right by a good man; Crow Crowley would’ve approved of his relationship with Devy, and Colt would’ve come around.

Eventually.

He took what he had in savings and paid for a flight back to Rhode Island. He didn’t want to wait until Thanksgiving, although that might have been easier. Once he was at the airport, he took the train as far as it would go and then hitchhiked from there. It wasn’t the best way, but he didn’t want to call his parents or even Colt.

Hayden wanted to surprise Devorah, and he’d do it at the homecoming game. It would be like one of those movies they’d seen, where he’d stand there professing his love and she’d run into his arms.

Hayden made it to the high school with four minutes left on the game clock. He waited patiently, hoping Devorah would spot him standing along the fence.

She never looked his way.

When the final buzzer sounded, Hayden walked toward the entrance to the field, careful to stay in the shadows.

That’s when he saw the love of his life kissing another guy.

Not just any guy, but the piece of shit known as Chad Campbell.

Hayden’s heart lurched. Devorah . . . his Devy . . . looked happy. She smiled.

She wasn’t a secret. Not like she had been with Hayden.

He had failed her, and now he was too late.

Hayden went back to school, flipped the switch on his feelings for Devorah Crowley, and met Sofia.

But things were different now. He wasn’t married, and Devy was . . . well, she was going through some major shit. None of which was going to be easy on her or Maren. Hayden felt bad for Dev. Not in the sense that he felt obligated to try and make her feel better about herself or her situation, but in the sense that no one should be treated the way Chad had treated her. What her husband did was the lowest of lows. His behavior was despicable.

Hayden looked over at her as he drove along the interstate. Her lips moved to the song, which made him smile. At least she was putting in an effort.

“Do you like this song?” he asked her.

“It’s one of Maren’s favorites.” She looked over her shoulder at her daughter. Hayden did so quickly. The girl was dancing in her seat. Then he caught a glimpse of Conor. His son was playing the air guitar with so much gusto he actually looked like he knew what he was doing.

“Guess I’m the drummer,” Hayden said as he started tapping on the steering wheel. He didn’t know the words to the song, but he made his lips move anyway. The four of them continued to put on their own concert until Hayden pulled into the sporting goods store parking lot and shut the truck off.

“Whew, that was fun,” Devorah said as she got out of the truck. She opened the back door and helped the kids out. She took Maren’s hand while Conor walked next to his father.

“I had no idea we were such a good band,” Hayden said, walking close to Devorah. “I think after a few more jam sessions, we’ll be able to take our band on the road.”

“Definitely.”

They entered the large store and were greeted by an employee asking if they needed assistance. After declining, they turned down the first aisle toward the baseball section. As soon as they were close, Conor ran the rest of the way.

“He’s excited,” Hayden said, almost as if he was making an excuse for his son’s enthusiasm.

“Is your dad coaching?” Devy asked.

“Not sure. I have a feeling he’ll help out, with Conor being on the team.”

“Can I play?” Maren asked.

Devorah looked at her daughter. It took her a couple of seconds, but she finally nodded. “This is baseball,” she told Maren. “I can see if there are softball tryouts.”

“No, I don’t mind playing with Conor.”

“Okay, let’s get you some shoes and a glove.”

“Why don’t you go over to the shoes, and I’ll look for a glove for her,” Hayden told them. “I’ll find one that doesn’t need a lot of breaking in. Are you right or left handed, Maren?”

“Right,” she said, holding up her hand to show him.

“Perfect.”

“Thanks, Hayden. This means a lot to me. To us.” Dev looked from her daughter to Hayden.

He smiled at them both. “It’s my pleasure.”

Hayden watched them head toward the shoes, and then he started down the aisle with gloves and balls. He tried on three different mitts before finding one that was already soft and would be easy for Maren to squeeze shut. He figured he would take her to the park early tomorrow and play catch and hit some grounders for her. Not knowing her level of playing ability, he didn’t want to assume she hadn’t played before.

“Dad!” Conor careened around the corner. “Check out these shoes Miss Devy found for me.” Conor opened the box to show off the bright-orange-and-black cleats. “Aren’t they the coolest?”

“Very cool. Do they fit?”

“Yep. Miss Devy did the thumb test and everything, just like Mom used to.” Conor didn’t miss a beat, but Hayden’s heart lurched. “Can I get them?”

“Of course. What do you think about going to the park early tomorrow to toss the ball around with Maren?”

“Yeah, okay, that’ll be fun. She picked out some black-and-purple cleats. They’re nice. They’re looking at sweatshirts. Can I get one?”

“Let’s go find the ladies,” Hayden said. He carried a bucket of balls and the glove he’d chosen for Maren. He wanted her to try it on first to make sure it fit. He and Conor found them in one of the clothing sections, looking at sweatshirts. When Conor approached, Devy took one she had draped over her arm and held it to Conor’s chest.

Even if Hayden hadn’t wanted to buy it for his son, he would now. The motherly side of Devy shined, and she made his son smile.

“Maren, can you try this on for me?” Hayden asked as he approached the group. Maren came over, took the glove, and slipped her hand inside. Hayden asked her questions about comfort and flexibility and to see if anything pinched.

“Nope, it feels good. Thanks, Mr. Hayden.”

“You know, you can call me Hayden. No need for the ‘Mr.’ in front of it.”

Maren smiled, and when she did, she looked exactly like Devorah had at that age, which was right about the time when he’d started hanging around with Colt and teasing the crap out of Colt’s little sister.

Nah, he wasn’t teasing Devorah. He was flirting with her. He did it then, and he was about to do it now. This time, he’d make sure she knew exactly how he felt.